Monday, 15 August 2016

How To Live With Difficult People

Hello everyone and hope you are all having a great Monday so far!

   I wanted to do a different kind of post to try and give some tips on how to live with people you would rather not live with but have to! I'm sure this is a very relatable topic for most of you and it's something I'm experiencing at the moment. When I was in my early 20's I lived with my father because it was the most convenient option for me at the time (even though it was hard at times). I love my father, but we didn't see eye to eye a lot and it made living with him difficult sometimes. Obviously the older you get, you start wanting more privacy and independence so I then told myself it was time for me to get my own place, and I did! It was very hard because you then have rent money you have to come up with and other bills to pay, but I worked hard to have my independence and I loved having my own space without people telling me what to do. 

   Now that I'm married, both my husband and I are living with my mother in law to save up enough money for a place of our own and for me to become more established in this country. If you have seen the t.v. show Everybody Loves Raymond, my situation reminds me of Debra's  in laws who live across the street from them and is always coming over unannounced! Living with in laws is definitely not easy, especially because everyone wants their own space and privacy. Here are some tips I've picked up along the way:

  1. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer! Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty easy to get along with but everyone has their bad days. If you don't like someone and that person knows it, life will be a heck of a lot harder for the both of you. The atmosphere is weird and you can tell there's tension between the two of you so it's best to remain neutral and don't cause any problems. 
  2. Like Selena says, "Kill Em With Kindness!" This is something that I really need to work on but I think if someone is being totally rude try not to stoop to their level and just act as nice as can be. I know it's hard to make a conversation that doesn't start off so well end in a positive way. As long as your being kind about things and not holding any grudges then things will start to work out smoothly. I'm not saying that it's okay for someone to mistreat you in any way, just learn to be kind because after all, they are your in-laws and you are living together so why not keep the air clean?
  3. Different lifestyle habits: One thing that ANNOYS me with sharing the same space with other people is their disgusting habits. It does not help when your mother in law treats the bathroom like its a hamper that you put dirty laundry in! I love keeping things clean and organised (mostly) but there are some things that you'll have to learn to put up with. If my husband did this I would kill him but because it's his mother I don't say anything because it's her place too (but seriously?!) There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I know that we won't be living with my mother in law forever and that keeps me positive at the end of the day. Try to stay focused on yourself and ignore the fact that the other person is not as clean as you are. I find myself cleaning up a little after her, but DO NOT let them take advantage of you!
  4. Remain positive & hopeful! Being around people that are negative is very hard for me because I tend to be a pretty positive person in general. It's hard for me to be close to my mother in law because almost every conversation we have her past is brought up and nothing positive is said the entire time. If you can relate to this, I highly suggest to change the subject and make it more positive! It's hard when people live in the past and constantly bring it up because it already happened and it's not happening now unless you continue it. People forget that we live in the present and we need to think more about what's  happening right now and start thinking about the future and NOT the past.

So there you have it! I hope some of my advice will be able to help out some of you out there that may be going through a similar situation. I really feel for you and hang in there because you won't be living with that person for forever. Stay focused on yourself or you and your husband/wife and don't let the in laws get the best of you!

Good luck!



  1. Go for a walk whenever you need to take a breath of quiet air. It works and will usually calm your mind and body. I know it's hard sometimes but hopefully it will be short term and worth the effort.

  2. Remember to breath and put the knife down :) Seriously though, i find smiling and walking away to be very helpful. It's not worth it to get angry over the little things, save it for the big issues or you will explode and make things much worse