Saturday, 20 August 2016

How to not be a doormat!

Hello everyone and happy Saturday to you all!

   For all of you nice and sweet people out there, I really wanted to talk about the importance of not being taken advantage of and different ways to not allow yourself to become a doormat. I consider myself to be a fairly nice and down to earth person (most of the time), but people can use my good nature to their advantage. Here are some things to remember: 

Rule #1~ Learn to say NO!  I still to this day have a hard time saying no for some reason because I like helping people out and am a hard worker. There comes a time when you realize that enough is enough and you just have to say no to something. At my old job, I would always be the one who would cover if someone was to call out for their shift. The extra money was nice, but I really wanted to have a life outside of work and eventually I just had enough of people relying on me all the time. It's nice to help out when you can, but learning to say no is also OK too!

Rule #2~ The apple doesn't fall far...... Sometimes family issues can arise due to someone being a good natured person. A member of my family needed  help financially and because I had a really good credit score at the time, I decided to help them out because it was family so why not? I would generally do anything for a family member but when it comes to finances it's best to let them figure it out on their own and fix their own mistakes. I learned my lesson in the end, but because I decided to help them, I now have a very poor credit score which will take years to build up again. Even though you may love your family, make sure whatever you're helping out with is the right decision for you.

Rule #3`Always look out for yourself! You are the one that's in control of your own life and no one else! Don't ever allow someone to pressure you or make you help out or do something that you don't want to do. For example, I was working somewhere once and on the phone the person told me what they expected from me and when I started working for them, the hours had changed and they told me a different story. Even companies and different workplaces will use their employees to their advantage. Most of them only care about the money and not about the employees. I believe the more that a company values who works for them, it's more beneficial for that company in the end. 

Rule #4~ Learn when to go out of your way to help! Of course there are times when it's a great idea to say yes and be helpful to someone. You can usually tell when people APPRECIATE what you do for them, and it's those people that you should want to help out when necessary. The ones that expect things to be done for them are the ones you have to be cautious for. I'm always super thankful for the people that help me out in times of need and I would do anything in return, well almost anything! 

Rule #5~ Are they really your friend? Friends can even take advantage of you as well, that's if they truly are your friend. Obviously a true friendship is wonderful but you can pick apart the kind of people that take advantage quite easily. They might use you to benefit themselves in certain ways whether it's always asking for things or only doing things when it suits them. I've known my best friend since the 4th grade and if she ever needed anything I wouldn't hesitate to help her out because I know she would do the same for me. If you know someone wouldn't return the favor to you then that person is most likely just there to use you and can't be bothered. Be careful not to be used even by those "friends."

I hope this post might be helpful to some of you out there. There's too many good people in the world that get taken advantage of on a daily basis and it's quite sad really. The older I get, the more aware I am of what's going on around me. I've learned that saying no is actually fun because I'm looking out for myself. If you have a story of someone that took advantage of you, I'd be interested on how you dealt with it!

Keep staying strong!



  1. Such a good post, I think the older I get the less I am allowing myself to be a doormat...I still need to learn how to say no though lol! Love Jessica Ann xxx

  2. I love this post and I'm definitely trying not to be a "doormat!" Great read lovely X

  3. Love this post! x

  4. Lovely post! I’m one of those people who loves helping others and hates letting anyone down, I stick to my word! But I realised a while back that sometimes I prioritise the needs and wants of others over my own. I don’t need to jump as soon as they tell me, I shouldn’t feel the need to put my things lower on my list of priorities either. I wouldn’t say I’m being treated as a doormat because I’m not being taken advantage of, more that I say yes way too easily. I want people to know they can rely on me, but first and foremost I need to be able to rely on myself.